I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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