jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
