nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
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My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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