whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
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Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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