Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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