Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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