What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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