Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she peed on how many people?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
