You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize