So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
