Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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