thus making me awesome and them whores
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
