my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
being pregnant is like rehab
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
