I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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