dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
