What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
