walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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