Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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