lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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