i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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