HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
