the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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