I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize