You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
