Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
