Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
