Sorry, I don't speak sober.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
