bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
