I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
actually, I'm a sock model
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize