this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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