My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
