When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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