I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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