It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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