I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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