Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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