we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
