I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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