Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
