who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
