...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
