no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
