Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
