Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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