It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
