nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
