dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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