lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize