Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.