We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We won't sleep together?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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