Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

(770): View more from Georgia

b/c u have herpes

(310): View more from California

No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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(310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh

Replies (19) Good night (1025) Bad night (5519)
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(623): View more from Arizona

just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"

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(623): just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!" http://tfl.nu/ezhs

Replies (13) Good night (2475) Bad night (687)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

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(919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day. http://tfl.nu/2twt

Replies (38) Good night (17414) Bad night (1596)
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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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(909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58

Replies (11) Good night (609) Bad night (3493)
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(802): View more from Vermont

My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college

(516): View more from New York

is she hot?

(802): View more from Vermont

She is now

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(802): My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college (516): is she hot? (802): She is now http://tfl.nu/4xoq

Replies (34) Good night (9036) Bad night (761)
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(516): View more from New York

I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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(516): I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume http://tfl.nu/0r2u

Replies (47) Good night (2054) Bad night (4432)
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(845): View more from New York

our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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(845): our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever. http://tfl.nu/jcyn

Replies (31) Good night (7557) Bad night (698)
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(773): View more from Illinois

She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married

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(773): She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win. (1-773): Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married http://tfl.nu/w32w

Replies (19) Good night (1111) Bad night (7481)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

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(336): I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome. http://tfl.nu/6uzt

Replies (18) Good night (3792) Bad night (1288)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol

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(+44): It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol http://tfl.nu/lr14

Replies (7) Good night (3027) Bad night (817)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

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(314): Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/614c

Replies (10) Good night (4033) Bad night (732)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night

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(204): I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night http://tfl.nu/wncj

Replies (5) Good night (866) Bad night (1996)
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(707): View more from California

is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

(408): View more from California

your beer goggles are on backwards.

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(707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh

Replies (4) Good night (4087) Bad night (681)
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(514): View more from Quebec

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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(514): OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR! http://tfl.nu/abrr

Replies (14) Good night (758) Bad night (611)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.

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(701): I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here. http://tfl.nu/4omy

Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (244)

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