We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
