dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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