he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
