I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
