It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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