rhymes with "ouble enetration"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
love makes seman taste better
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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