I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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