mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
