you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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