Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
