Jerry, you need to find god
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
