I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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