Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If I die, sorry about rent.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
