She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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