I should be sponsored by Trojan
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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